Robby Berman—lead and background vocals, electric guitar, tambourine, drums, cowbell, bass, organ, clavinet, sirens

Buford O’Sullivan—trombone

(All instruments in italics are software instruments played from a keyboard.)

© 2009 Robby Berman

He lies coiled down below

Where I never go

When I look

I could swear he hides

Way up here it appears

There’s no cause for fear

Then you’re struck

Right between the eyes

I’m so sorry

You’re on fire

I mean, really

I don’t know where it came from

I’ll go get some water.

Such a mean man

Such a mean man

Monster

Such a mean man

Such a monster.

Such a mean man

Such a mean man

Monsterous

Such a mean man

Such a mean, mean man.

I don’t feel like I’m angry

But maybe I am

If it’s true,

I’m the last to know.

Does the beast skulk around

Jotting injuries down?

I’m amazed

Every time he blows.

I’m so sorry

You’re on fire

And sincerely

I don’t know why I did that

I’ll go get an ambulance.

Such a mean man

Such a mean man monster

Such a mean man

Such a monster.

Such a mean man

Such a mean man

Monsterous

Such a mean man

Such a mean, mean man.

It’s too damn dumb to get

So, so furious

Going all nuclear

Is so injurious.

With things we think are said

So often in our heads

That going postal guarantees

Misunderstandings spread.

So forgive if you can

What I can’t understand

And hang tight if you dare to dare

I’ll be sweet and relaxed

‘til the drop of the axe

And the pain spatters everywhere.

I’m so sorry

You’re on fire

And so clearly

I don’t know how it happened

I’ll go find a doctor.

Such a mean man

Such a mean man monster

Such a mean man

Such a monster.

Such a mean man

Such a mean man

Monsterous

Such a mean man

Such a mean, mean man.

Such a mean man

Such a mean man monster

Such a mean man

Such a monster.

Such a mean man

Such a mean man

Monsterous

Such a mean man

Such a mean, mean man.